She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
