oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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