i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
that's an acceptable place to lick
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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