hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
