p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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