Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
