you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
