I hate all girls vehemently.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
