Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize