its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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