Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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