I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you would pick up someone in the library
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
50% drunk capacity currently
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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