i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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