Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Vodka?
Forever.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize