I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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