Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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