yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
