I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Houston, we have a squirter
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
