I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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