How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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