I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
