I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The police scanner is talking about you again....
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Randomize