All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
