the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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