quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
