THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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