Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
