So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
