Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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