Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize