I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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