Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
