Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
smell my finger.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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