Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
