dude i'm inner monologue high
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
