i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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