hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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