Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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