All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
