please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
