flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
pray to the hookup gods
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
