Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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