Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
