i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
