She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
They are going to name an STD after you.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize