worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
