ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
