so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
