i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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