I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
