Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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