Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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