quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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