sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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