So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
