I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize