Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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