So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
