that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
