If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
