pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
