So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I am one with the molecules
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
