i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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