We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
