lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize