My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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